she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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