So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
