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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
