Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
