i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
