you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
