This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
