I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
