Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
