so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
