I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize