I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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