omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
