Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
