Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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