im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
