We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
