I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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