she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
