He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
