i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize