so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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