So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
