How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
