apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
