Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
