So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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