More tranny stories later!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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