I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
