watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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