Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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