i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I pour the whiskey from now on
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
