I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
