Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
