been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
