i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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