after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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