Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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