wanna go halves on a baby?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
