i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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