I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
