she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize