Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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