I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
