You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
