She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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