i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize