I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
