Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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