TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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