A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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