Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We need to get me chipped asap
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
