Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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